Friday, October 29, 2010

To write or not to write?

I have been missing my blogging. I enjoy just writing what is on my mind and putting it out there not caring what kind of response I get. It is the pleasure of expressing myself without expectation. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the comments and knowing that my words help others relate in their own lives. But I like the fact that my verbiage comes from me first to help me and then a domino affect on readers who find they have the same experiences.

These last few months have been a big change for me. My job, my home, I stopped going to meetings, family issues have changed. But what I have noticed most is my spirituality has grown exponentially and so has my happiness. I have learned that I am able to handle what is dealt me. That I have no control except for what actions I take. How I deal with something and what emotions I decide to let loose all predict how my day will go.

I do know that my spirituality and my sobriety are my main priorities on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis. It I keep those in check the rest of my life stays in check.

I still have that feeling that there is something big I am suppose to be doing with my life but I don't quite know what that is, or who knows, maybe I am doing it and don't know it?

So I continue on with my life spreading a smile and happiness as often as I can. I try to be aware of what I can do for others when I feel I should take action. I don't always think I need to take action but need to observe and take notice I pay attention to how I react to the moment and I try to start over if I am heading in the wrong direction. I have concluded in my life that I have the power in the day to control it and allow how good a day I will have.

Location:Portland St,Houston,United States

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Time goes by

I have to say that I haven't had a lot of down time. I start my mornings at around 5:30 am and I don't get to crawl into bed until midnight. I am not complaining. But it makes time fly so fast.

It's hard to believe we are pushing into the middle of October. The year just started the day before yesterday. I hate the thought of the holidays just around the corner. I can't believe that my baby is going to be 10 next month.

I digress. Since all the issues with my house it seems like I am going, running, doing every minute of the day. I have so much to take care of it seems that there is no end in sight. Working for my partner has made it that much more difficult to find down time.

But I have to say I am fortunate to have such high class problems. I have more than one roof over my head, I have food on my table and I want for nothing. I could use a little more sleep but I have a loving family, my spirituality and my sobriety.

I am fortunate to know that I can no longer do drugs and drink. I am lucky to be able to look at my family and know that I will not put them through that again. I do not like who I become. Neither do they.

I am so fortunate.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Settling in

We finally moved into our apartment and what a nice relief that is. Living in a hotel for 6 weeks is nice at first but is a pain in the ass after a while. I missed my kitchen and cooking. Eating out at restaurants gets old real fast.

This year has been a major experience in change. Nothing is the same as it was a year ago and that is okay. My job is different, my home is different. The two major things that cause stress on your body have happened to me. This year has been learning to roll with whatever happens.

I am glad that I am not drugging and drinking. I can see if I was I would be a mean mess. I have learned that I can't ever go back to that life style again. If I did all my fears and negative qualities would become me. I have learned that being sober and clean for me allows me to realize the untruths I tell myself and stay away from them by acknowledging my negative thinking.

I have made a lot of changes in my life. I have changed routines in my life that left me frustrated. I am working on getting fit and finding new outlets. I am at a point where I have given up the thinking I can't and have focused on the I cans.

I am grateful for my life and all I experience.

Location:W Dallas St,Houston,United States