Saturday, May 15, 2010

May 15, 2010

Today I am Grateful for:

Who I have become. Being in Syracuse is allow me to look back at myself and the way I was. Not only in Syracuse, but in the past 26 years. It has actually given me a meter to view my life. I can see how I am different from my family of origin, old friends, old habits.

I am so Grateful I can see today. I can see that I am willing to let go of the negativity that still lives in my family. I can see where it is generated from and I am able to tolerate it today. I am able to not pick up old habits by staying aware and Grateful.

I was able to walk into a bar to meet a friend I have had since I was 16. I was so Grateful to I didn't for a minute feel like having a drink, I enjoyed being sober. Then I was asked if I wanted to go to their house and visit, which to me was a better alternative to being in a bar. I was asked if I still smoked weed and I said no. (People don't see the connection in addiction.) On the 20 minute drive to their house I thought how is this going to play out. Are they going to smoke in front of me? I was Grateful to see that they didn't and we had a wonderful visit of old times and I didn't have to deal with it. I know that I would have to have left if it was smoked in the house in front of me because I know that would have been the jumping off point for me. But it was great to see that they respected me and it didn't appear and it never came up.

I am so Grateful for my Sobriety and the continued health and strength that I am gaining.