Today I am Grateful for:
Coming around. This week has been the week from hell for me emotionally. The insanity of my thinking, the doubting, the insecurities that ran uncontrollable through my mind. This negative emotional state was stuck to me like ink from a magic marker. I knew eventually it would come off, but the marks are visible for a while. It's so amazing how we can buy into our own bullshit. I know I can choose my state of mind, but sometimes no matter how hard I try it just doesn't work. I am a person that has to process what I am experiencing and what I am going through. If I merely look the other way and say I'm happy, when I'm not, it never gets resolved.
Yesterday's Meeting. As difficult as it was for me to sit through it, I was Grateful that I did. When a fellow "AA" speaks up how in 3 days their life went to hell by not following the program it made me Grateful that I did continue on my course and I did stay sober even when I thought that a few pills or some substance would fix the problem. I'm Grateful that I can experience the pain in my life without trying to find a quick fix for it.
My Higher Power. Even though my Higher Power and I have communication issues the most wonderful thing I heard in the meeting yesterday that really hit home was by staying sober I don't loose my contact with my higher power. I don't give it up and walk away from it and put my power into something that can't make my life any better.
My Willingness to participate. I'm Grateful I have come a long way.