March 6, 2010

Today I am Grateful for:

Hard work. As much as I like to run from hard work, I also like to do it. Once I get in the frame of mind to do it, I am like a machine. I am so grateful that the fruits of my labor to get my studio up in running is starting to show.

Being Sober and knowing this is the life I want to lead. As I have been working on my studio, I have been coming across pieces of my old life. I found a box of cigars that I had brought back from Holland that I use to smoke when I was smoking weed and having a few glasses of wine. As I was trashing stuff I pulled out this cute little tin with the cigars in them. I opened it and saw these little cigars and I thought, I could use these and I set them aside. Then I stopped myself and said to myself "What the hell are you thinking?" If I found drugs, would I lay that aside too? It took me about 5 minutes to realize what I was doing to myself and I and threw the cigars away. I know they're only cigars, but that alone with the health issues is reason enough to trash them. To me it just shows that I have a disease that can sneak up and fool me in the sneakiest kind of way. I am so grateful I didn't run across any of the drugs I use to do.

The weekend. I'm grateful to have a few days to slow down on working and relax with my family.

Fellowship. It's so great to get phone calls from friends in the program who just want to check on me. It's a great feeling and it always ends up in great conversation.

Happy Saturday!