February 10, 2010

Today I am Grateful for:

My son. He brings me so much laughter and happiness. He is amazingly happy all the time. I strive to be happy everyday, but this child wakes every morning in a happy, good mood. I think back on the day he was born and the nurse said to us "That child is a miracle because he should not have been alive when he was born." The umbilical cord was around his neck twice, it had a knot in the cord, and he had defecated before he was born. He was active and going the second he was born. He hasn't stopped since. I always tell him he is an example of how I want to be.

Opposition. With every step I take I have to take one step back. And it's okay. I see how I am learning from it. As frustrating as opposition is it allows me to still move forward. Being sober has allowed me to keep going when in the past I would say "I can't" and quit.

Northern Winds. I love when the wind blows from the north, I can hear the trains that are about a mile away from my house. My son is a train fanatic and has been his whole life. Because he is so into trains I have become so aware of them. I love laying in bed and can sometimes actually hear the metal of the wheels on the tracks as well as hear the whistle blow when it crosses intersections.

Gina. We were friends since we were 16. She died about 3 years ago this month. Her drug and alcohol use got to her before sobriety could. She was one of the examples in my life to make me realize I was not headed in a good direction. I miss her. I think of her now and think how lost she was. She got up one Sunday morning and put her head down at the computer and died with a glass of wine and a bowl of weed next to her with 19 different prescription drugs running through her system. She was in the middle of sending a joke email to friends about the difference between and Irishman and his wife and a six pack of beer. I don't know the joke, but it's ironic that it was a joke about alcohol.