January 10, 2010

Today I am grateful for:

Prayer and meditation. First I want to say how thankful I am to have realized what was missing out of my life. I still flinch when I hear people say they pray, they will pray for someone or they ask me to pray for someone. It was something to me that right-winged conservatives did, not me. I didn't need it. It was a bunch of malarkey, they were wasting their time. Oh, how wrong I was. What I didn't realize it was as simple as the act of drinking water. We all need to do it. We need to stay in contact with the Higher Power, the Universe or whatever that connection is out that that does give us direction and does allow us to have strength and enlightenment. I still warble and sometimes it feels really un-natural for me to do it. Making it part of my life, makes it come easier. It's a routine that is learned and practiced. Like anything I, as a human want. I have to practice it, be it music, sports, learning, kindness, you name it. No one told me before that if you pray and then wait and really listen, you will hear the answers you seek.

Saturday's meeting at 11:30 am. It was a really good meeting. There was a new person in the room. It made me aware after the meeting that I need to be more aware of people and talk with them instead of isolating in my seat before the meeting. After the meeting began and after he announced he was new I watched him because he was sitting next to me. His nervousness, his shyness but the need to be there was so evident. He knew it and I pray that he continues and follows through with his new journey. I got the feeling that he found that he was home. I remember that when I got to Lambda. There is nothing like being in a place where you don't know anyone but you feel like you fit in. I did act on my need to do service work after the meeting. It showed me I am getting better and learning to do the next right thing.

Peace. Oh, what a wonderful way of being I am just learning about. I never knew I didn't have Peace. I'm not saying I'm Buddha and you're welcome to rub my belly. But it is slowing becoming something that I realize I had no clue what it was and that it was missing from my life. I am realizing the steps I am taking both in AA and in my life are the key factors why I stand where I am today. The crazy chatter that continued to loop in my head is slowly being replaced with nothing but calm. Peace comes with action. Peace also is possible because if my first gratitude today.

My willingness to learn. Until the day that I leave the planet I will never say I am too old to learn. Throughout my career I have heard many people tell me their brains are full they can't learn anymore. That is a sign of giving up. Considering we only use a portion of the brain (10% approximately, but I know there are different theories on that percentage.) we have the capacity to have endless learning potential. Learning allows me to empower myself. Learning also comes in different ways. This week alone I learned more about myself than I ever expected. I am learning new possibilities about a business I have been in for over 20 years. I am learning about the good and kindness that is out there. I am learning about Love.

Follow your dreams to reality.