Wednesday, January 13, 2010

January 13, 2010

Today I am grateful for:

The Rothko Chapel. For inspiration I was going to take my self on an artist date yesterday afternoon to go to the Houston Center of Photography and the Menil Museum. Oddly enough, both places were closed. As I was returning to my car I saw a sign that said Rothko Chapel, and it pointed in the direction to where it was from where I was standing. I got in my car and went to the chapel. I haven't been there in 20 years. It was nice to be lead there on my own. I went in and sat down in front of the darkest of all the art pieces being displayed. I relaxed closed my eyes and tried to get centered. I was amazed at the amount of noise and chatter that was going on inside of me. Even though I meditate in the morning, it made me realize that I need to get centered half way through my day. It made me realize that I push the go button once I'm out of the house making the afternoons seem like too much to do. I could see that by calming myself there it made the afternoon a little more organized. Note to self, "What's the hurry?"

Networking. I am thankful that I am willing to talk to others I don't know and listen. I had about an hour and half conversation with a photographer on the phone that gave me hope that I knew I was doing the right thing. She was a wealth of information, and inspiration. I look forward to meeting her in person. She helped me realize or see exactly what I am going to be all about.

Sobriety. I am so unbelievably grateful that I have no desire to turn to drugs and alcohol as I go through this change, journey or whatever it is that is happening in my life. (The reality that I am creating for myself.) In the past it would have been an excuse to use and abuse. It would have been so the opposite of what I am doing now. I would have been a disorganized mess of grandiose. It would have been so self centered that I couldn't take a step out of the circle that I was spiralling around like water going down a drain.

Because I can. Plain and simple. Even though I was told I could, I never believed it. I was frozen in non-action because that is what I believed. You truly can change but you have to be willing, truly willing to do it. I held myself down and believed it was impossible. Now I believe anything is possible.


  1. You were at the jumping off place, you took the step and HP didn't let you fall. Faith and trust are rewards of gratitude!