Wrapping it up. Wow, today is the day. It's the last day of my career as an administrator at a litigation law firm. It's also the start of a career that I have dreamed about for over 20 years. I feel at peace this morning. I have been so fortunate for over 25 years I have learned, experienced, loved, cried and everything in between. I have spent half of my life in that career. I am grateful to have been so lucky to have had people that have believed in me for so long. I am eternally grateful that I have been so blessed in my life. The firm is having a big luncheon for me at 12 this afternoon. The partners are giving me such a nice send off. I feel so honored that they are doing this for me. I have my reservations about being the center of attention, as I have never enjoyed that. However, it is going to give me a chance to truly thank them for everything and to show them the gratitude I have towards them and the kindness they are bestowing on me. They are truly a part of my life I will miss.
Honoring myself. I realized this morning I still lack in thinking I am worth it. I had to stop and think about my past because it has to do with my future today. I get caught up in the I cannot and I'm not able and not me I'm not worthy. I had to look back and think, wait a minute, look what you have done. I have pulled off some pretty miraculous feats during my career. When I was asked to do them I just rolled up my sleeves and did the work and came out shinning in the end. I guess what I am allowing myself to hear today is, the door is closing on my past, and a new door is opening for me. I can grasp the challenges ahead of me in the same way. Even though the door is closing it's not solid, it's glass and I can see through it and see what I have done to remember that I need to honor myself today for the many talents I have been given.
This morning. I wasn't able to sleep with all that is running through my mind with things I have to get done and all the events of the coming day. I woke up at 3 and finally got out of bed at 3:30 a.m. because I couldn't lay there any longer. I got out of bed, made coffee and started my morning writing, praying, and meditating, and blogging. Then it hit me how wonderfully sober I am. Before I got sober I would have started hitting the pipe first thing then off to swallow a few prescriptions to start my day. The clarity I have today is beyond what I could have ever dreamed of. I am so grateful that I crashed and burned and lived to be where I am today.
Love. I feel it all around these days. I get it from my family, I get it from the people I work with, I get it from my drunks and addicts at AA. I have never felt love in my life like I do today. How much more grateful can I be?
If you were still using, today would be no different than any other day. You wouldn't have had the courage to follow your convictions.
ReplyDeleteToday will present you with closure and memories. Enjoy it.
I was up at 3:30 too. Must be the full moon. I know when my head gets too big, my HP has a funny sense of humor and sends me a situation to "right size" me again. When my self-esteem is in the pits, my HP gently sends me people to share with which gets me out of my own way. I hope you enjoy the limelight today. Bask in it. Revel in it. Celebrate your closing chapter and new doors. All of this too shall pass ;-D
ReplyDelete(said with love)
Namaste
You will see that the gratitude just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Dave and I have remarked and wondered how it just gets better and better. But it does.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you. It is really lovely to see the change in you and watch your smile turn into a dazzling one.
Inspirational & Beautiful! Thank you & Kick a$$ in your future endeavors - great to follow you heart now that you can hear it
ReplyDeleteHi Gary,
ReplyDeleteI followed your link from Elegant Blessings. What a lovely post this is. Best wishes for your luncheon, and for whatever comes next.