Today I am Grateful for:
My past, present and future. Yesterday was probably one of the most profound experiences in my life that most people will not have the luck to experience. My going away party was like a birthday, wake and kick off to a new life all wrapped into one. Being sober and spiritual has allowed me to to be quiet and listen during yesterday's luncheon and to be shown what I think my life is, and what my life really isn't like in my own head, all at the same time. I know this all sounds much like I am tooting my own horn but I want others to see is how dead wrong we are about our own thinking. If one person reads this and my words makes them stop and think when they are having a bad day that we can't see clearly sometimes. Then it is worth tooting my horn. There were so many times I had thought that I wanted to end my life and it wouldn't be a big deal it would be better for me and everyone involved. I did not know my own life. I was shown that I had an integral part in helping that law firm be what it is today. I am sad for all the time lost by the miserable thinking that I had through the years. I am so grateful for the last 17 months of sobriety to realize that the on the opposite side of my addict there was the person that I am and will always be that did shine through and played the part I was meant to play. To be acknowledge by the two biggest partners in the firm of my contribution was a mircle of God showing me, even healing me, to help me move on to my new life. One of the secretaries put together about a 10 or 15 minute presentation that was so unbelieveable. It showed me and eveyone in the firm our life through the years. I was able to show my gratitude with a little speech. I was stressing over it. but, you know, I don't remember what I said, but I do remember the gratitude flowed out without effort. I had my wits about me through the whole experience. Well, that was until the end when they gave me an unbelieveable gift. They gave me a Nikon d3x. I burst into tears, not really about the gift, but the whole experience. True the gift is something I could never buy myself at this point. But they are supporting my talents as a photographer and telling me if you did what you did at the firm, then you can certainly do for yourself. I will be forever grateful for my life, past, present and future.
I saw Venus, dancing with the moon last night...
20 hours ago