January 18, 2010

Today I am grateful for:

Motivation. What a great and wonderful power to have. When I am motivated anything is possible. I have no doubts of what I can do. At this moment in time, I have a very strong sense of motivation. Just a few weeks ago it took everything in my power to get up in the morning. Just by making a decision in my life has changed the energy level in my being. Motivation suddenly awakens allowing me to realize what can be. This time, I am going to stay motivated with the positive energy. I am learning all things are possible and can continue.

Friendships. Old and new. I'm realizing that I have to nurture the ones I have and put myself out there to gain new friends. I was talking with a friend yesterday who is in the program. We have been friends since we were 12 or 13 years old. It was good to talk and to be there for her and she was being there for me. Interestingly, we could talk in a very different way, program wise, laced with how much we know each other, it was heartwarming. She is an unbelievable person, a true gift in my life. I'm still not the greatest at making new friends, but I am willing this time. I was so busy isolating for years that I now realize it takes work. All good things come in time.

My healthy body. I am thankful that I can get up and run 4.5 miles at the age of 50. When I look back I don't think my father could have done that. I am grateful that I have decent health and to know that I am taking care of my body.

Meetings. Interestingly, yesterday's meeting was about one of the Promises, number 8, "Self Seeking Shall Slip Away". I had to stop and think for a minute. I realized that is obviously something that I was doing, without realizing I was doing it. Someone then linked it to the third step prayer, "The bondage of self" and I then suddenly saw my part. I saw that my complaining about my miserable life was keeping me dead in the center of self. The best part of it was that I was seeing that my moving forward was changing that. It also hung a bell on it for me to stop and realize when I do it. Then a moment later I started to think of my blogging. What are my motives? Is that not in the middle of self, by publicly writing about me,myself and I? Then I looked at it as I don't care. If there is someone that relates to my life on some level then I have done my part. I am grateful for that. I am publicly sharing my healing and changes in my life. I want to know others can be inspired by their own lives as much as I am by mine.