Momentum. As I go through the changes that are happening in my life, I realize that it has it's own momentum. At the same time I realize that I have to pay attention to the speed I am moving and that it can coast and lose speed if I don't keep focused on where I am going and what I am doing. The same goes for my sobriety. I have to keep an eye on it and pay attention to myself. I have to stay in the gratitude of where I am. I realize if I don't I start to coast and my willingness and my serenity changes. For me, I have to continue to keep my eye on the prize and I keep moving forward at a pace that keeps me balanced running smoothly without wobbling to and fro.
My life. I never use to look at it as what a journey I am on. How fortunate that I am learning so much about my life as a human being, I am able to see the importance of how I treat others, my spirituality, how that is connects everything. The bittersweet life I sometimes think I have, but in the larger picture, it is oh so sweet.
Knowing I am grateful. Never in my life prior to my sobriety did I stop to be as grateful as I am today. I superficially knew I had a good life, however, I never was thankful for what I had. Now, through my blogging and my pray and meditation, I am present in my gratefulness. I step away from the negative thinking. That negative thinking moves me into the center of me, opening up the feelings of ungratefulness which for me, pull me into a place I lived for so long in my life that wasn't healthy. Of course, until I got sober, I couldn't be grateful for what I have today.
My family. From my immediate family of my partner and son and my son's nanny that cares for him (and us!) when we can't. My parents. As difficult it is to relate to them sometimes, I am so grateful they are still around at this point in my life. They are both characters that I have developed from, both good and bad. My brother and his family. I wish we were closer, distance -wise, he's a good funny man that can make me laugh. My sister and her husband. They have been estranged from me for the last 10 years. They are both strongly living in their addictions and their points of view. She was my best friend until up until 10 years ago. I pray that she becomes willing to be part of the family. My door is always open, that is all I can do.
One can see that change all over you these days!
ReplyDeleteMomentum seems to be the word of the day..I have read it twice in the blogs this morning. Your peace and serenity are spilling over this morning..I, too, have some familial relationships that are estranged. It is so awesome that I now know I can love them, pray for them, be happy for them, and go ahead and live my life, freely, serenely, and gratefully until they decide they would like me to be a part of their lives again. I no longer beat myself up and try to change. Good post today.
ReplyDeletenamaste
Today is Thursday, just as predicted.
ReplyDeleteGary, nice post. I'm grateful for what little family I have left and for all those who have passed on. They helped to mold me and the ones still here help hold me.
ReplyDeletenever become complacent or overconfident stay focused
ReplyDelete